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Before we even say a word, let us clarify that this article is written with no seditious tendency” or intention to “raise discontent or disaffection amongst the citizens of Singapore or the residents in Singapore”. That’s right, we are so kiasi we went to do a little reading up. Don’t play play okay.

As the fun-lovin’, apolitical and patriotic people that we are, we thought we’ll have a little fun by looking at our government agencies from the Singaporean perspective. Listed below are eight such agencies that we’ve randomly picked. Let the fun begin!

1. Central Provident Fund Board (CPFB)


More commonly known as CPF, every Singaporean should be familiar with this money sucking saving scheme. With its mandatory savings plan and the we’re-doing-this-for-your-own-good stuff, its not common for some to confuse the authorities for their parents. Boy ah come, I help you save your ang pow then return you when you grow up. Right?

2. Housing Development Board (HDB)


Starved for land, it is of little surprise for recently built houses to be relatively less spacious. But at the rate we’re going, fifty years down the road, we may just end up in houses half the size of the current ones. Even attap houses are bigger. Eh SLA,  help leh!

3. Singapore Land Authority (SLA)


Remember the phrase balek kampong? After the establishment of SLA/HDB, there are no longer kampongs to balek. Well, except the last kampong in Singapore, Buangkok Kampong, but we have a sneaky feeling SLA/URA is doing its best. So no worries there.

4. Land Transport Authority (LTA)


The mother of SMRT and SBS. Working at LTA is super tough sia. But with the recent controversies SMRT has been embroiled in, maybe it’s time for LTA to toughen its reigns.

 5. Media Development Authority (MDA)


There’s really no better way to put it. Has anyone actually watched the censored version of Game of Thrones? Do away with the sex and violence and what do you get? Nothing. Not broadcasting the TV series may actually be less disappointing.

6. Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA)


If you think all they do is chop your passports, you thought wrong. Who do you think is responsible for the security of Singapore’s borders against the entry of undesirable persons and cargo through land, air and sea checkpoints? Phew was that a mouthful. Maybe a shorter description next time, ICA? But seriously, we have nothing but utmost respect for these guys.

7. National Environment Agency (NEA)


Despite appearing only during haze-y situations, we must hand it to NEA for their timely PSI forecasts. A* for effort!

8. People’s Association (PA)


Had enough of your neighbours’ midnight karaoke sessions? Complain to community centre (CC). Jobless and unable to find a job? Complain to CC. Think your MP is not serving the people? Complain to CC. Probably fielding the toughest job there is for the government, appeasing angry residents can get pretty tiring. So kudos to all PA stuff, but we know you complain about us too.

So there you have it, the Singaporeanised versions of the agencies’ slogans. But wah lao, eight only? Got somemore or not? Well hold on to your hats, because there will be a part two coming up. Follow us on Facebook for the latest scoops!

also read: 4 Haunted Places In Singapore So Spooky That Even The Ghosts Also Scared – Part 1 

Categories: Uniquely Singapore