Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, you would know that the U.S Elections have been occupying headlines and our Facebook feeds alike. With the election results coming out tomorrow, there is an actual real chance that Donald Trump might become the next U.S President (yes, I’m truly horrified as well).
So we sat down and thought of things that might change here on our island home. Here are 10 things that might just happen if Donald Trump moves into the White House.
1. Orange Becomes A Legit Skin Tone
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Have you ever seen someone who overdid the self tanner? It’s not a pretty sight. Prepare to see self-tanning oils, sprays and moisturisers flying off the shelves. For us ladies, do not be surprised if turning into an orange oompa loompa becomes the newest makeup trend (please no).
2. Trump University Open Its Doors In Singapore
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Makes sense doesn’t it, with Singapore’s close relationship with U.S it’ll only be a matter of time before Trump University opens its doors in Singapore. If that doesn’t scare you, Trump University is now defunct and facing lawsuits. But once he becomes President there might be a Trump University, Trump Secondary School, Trump Kindergarten…Oh god please make it stop.
3. SG Apprentice
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Okay so no one really watches TV anymore and yes okay, even if you watch Mediacorp tv shows you probably catch them on Toggle instead. It’s no surprise, Singapore has so many startups and budding entrepreneurs a show like SG Apprentice is bound to take off! No. It will not. It will be so bad that Mothership is going to roast it worse than when Donal Trump got roasted by Seth Mcfarlene.
4. No One Answers Yes/No Questions Anymore
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If you’ve ever seen Donald Trump answer questions at debates, rallies or interviews you would know that most of the time he doesn’t actually answer questions. He just…strings sentences together so they sound like he’s saying something but really he’s not.
So the next time you ask your co-worker if he took your donut. This might be how it goes
You: Did you eat my donut?
Him: Donuts. I love donuts. I think donuts are a gift to Singapore. Singapore’s a great country and donuts are really making Singapore great. Amazing. Donuts are amazing.
Yeah. That’ll be fun.
5. Every Other Person in Singapore Disappears.
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Trump loves women doesn’t he? He loves them so much he wants them to all be skinny, model-look alike who don’t use the bathroom (!!!). Trump has been known to be offensive when it comes to people of colour and women. So basically..98% of Singapore? So if Trump ever comes to Singapore, the streets will be cleared out and instead filled with mannequins. Not like he can tell the difference.
6. Hide Yo Cats
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Protect your cats. Enough said.
While we can’t confidently say if Hillary Clinton will become the next U.S President, we’re really hoping U.S voters pull through on this one. We Singaporeans can’t have this kind of insanity descend on us. I mean honestly, Trump University?!
(feature image: WTM.NYC)
